Top Ten Comments of Cops to Motorists
10 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
#9 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#!*!."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." | 
